The very notion of "good hair" springs from that same wellspring of self-denigration that offers the N-word as a fraternal greeting and once filled our newspapers with ads for skin-lightening creams. It suggests the difficulty of loving oneself when one uses as a yardstick of worth another culture's physical standards. As in an old episode of "MASH" where a Korean boy wanted the doctors to fix his eyes and make them look "American."

Of course, there was nothing at all wrong with his eyes. And "good hair" — I preached this to my curly-haired son who grew up mystified that his hair fascinated so many people — is any hair that covers your head.

Unfortunately, saying this is like shouting in a hurricane. A million media images tell us beauty looks like Paris Hilton — and "only" that.